A recent survey shows that friendship has declined significantly in the U.S. in recent years, The Christian Post website reports today (Oct. 25, 2024).
The Survey Center on American Life reports that in 1990, almost 70% of men had five or more close friends. By 2021, just 40% reprted having that many. And the number who said they had no close friends quintupled. Women haven't fared well, either, although their friend groups haven't shrunk as rapidly.
Part of the challenge is that time together is the oxygen of friendship. Deprive it of that, and friendship tends to die or at least become more distant. And today, perhaps due to a faster pace of life and more "stuff" piled into our schedules, spending time with friends requires more effort and intentionality than in decades past. Research shows that Americans now spend half as much time with their friends (three hours a week) as they did just a decade ago.
The typical American, it seems, tests a bunch of people. "We should get together" before watching Tik Tok alone on the couch and then passing out. That is, Americans have friends. We just never see them.
It would be easy to lecture people to get off their phones and go reconnect with someone over cofee. But Khazan doesn't think loneliness is entirely the fault of lazy or screen--addicted individuals. Instead, she blamed our rapidly growing isolation on the fact that we have so few regular opportunities to meet or spend time with our friends.
Khazan pointed to the collapse of "unions, civic clubs, and religious congregations" as a major reason why people see less of each other. These so--called "third spaces" (distinct from home and work) tend to "regularize contact" as one researcher told her. Showing up at the same time and place weekly or monthly with a lot of like--minded people makes it much more likely to form and maintain friendships.
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